Shroud of Mystery

Researchers for The History Channel have undergone 6 months of intense digital study to compile the first credible image of Jesus Christ. The below image has been constructed using the highly controversial Turin Shroud as a blueprint. The shroud is said to have been what Christ's body was wrapped in at the time after he was crucified.




Ray Dowling, who was one of the chief artists on the study has said that:

"It (the shroud) is the only object that can purport to be the actual image of Jesus with any kind of credibility."

The thing is, 6 months, probably millions of dollars of research and we get the above image - it's crap. I'm fairly sure that they just gave Jim Caviezel a quick buzz and asked him to take along a a few props from The Passion of the Christ along, and Bob's your uncle. Whilst I have no real issue with anybody investigating the credibility of Jesus Christ, at least do a decent job of it. This is exactly what any person in the Western World would think Jesus looked like at the time of his death. In fact, I'm fairly sure that I drew a picture like this when I was in 4th class.

Granted, due largely in part to my cynicism, I won't be satisfied with any image of Jesus until Bartholomew gets the finger out and uploads his pics from the Last Supper to Facebook. Then, and only then will any degree of faith that I ever had be reinstated.

Anyway, as Duane "Dog" Chapman would say, "Go with Christ brah". And we all know he's the picture of common sense.